Lonely

I have no idea what has been wrong with me this week. I guess all the screwed up things that have been happening has taken a toll on my mood. I've never felt like this in a long time and sometimes I feel like crying for no reason. I think I am really really tired. Tired of drama, tired of people, actually. I could go seek company in animals, but no I can't because I'm scared of them. I do try to cheer myself up by watching videos of my favourite artistes.

Yeah it does make me smile - for a while. After that I'm just back to being downcast again. I hate being sad. I hate to show my friends that I'm upset but sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm so tired of putting on a happy front even though I am all agonized inside. I guess it's true that seemingly happy people are actually the not the happiest. I try to stay positive but the negativity surrounding me engulfs me.

I have no idea what I am doing now, what I have been doing, and what I am gonna do with my life. I don't even know why I'm typing all these. I'm so messed up. Urgh.

I guess I'll try not to think so much and just look forward to SHINee World Concert (10th Sept) and GD&TOP, Seungri in F1 (23rd Sept). I hope I don't feel like that anymore.

To anyone who is reading this: if you ever see me like that when I'm with you, please don't hesitate to give me a hug 'aight? A hug makes everything better.