我的幸运

Just got back from Taiwan for like the fifth time in my life and I don't think I have enjoyed this country so much before. Unlike the last few times that I went with my family with a tour group, I went with my juniors.

I'm actually a person who feels very disoriented if there isn't a plan, or if things don't go according to plan. I guess the heavens kinda knew because on our first day there, our train to Ruifang (we were going to Jiufen) ceased operation because of a thunderstorm and flood along the route. We ended up on the wrong train with a bunch of foreigners who were as clueless as us. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty helpless but I was the oldest outta my bunch and was the most fluent in Mandarin so I had to get my shit together, and I also tried to help the two Koreans and one Canadian who were stranded as much as I could.

I think herein lies the charm of vacationing with friends and having things go wrong and you having to solve problems yourselves. It was great because we were all in it together - taking care of each other etc. I went there with the mindset of 'okay I'm the eldest so these kids are my responsibility', but it turned out that we needed each other equally. Without Rashidah getting up in the morning first I wouldn't have woken up for any breakfasts. Without Wenhui I would never have thought I'd be hiking and surfing there. Without Vinnie's persistent coaxing I wouldn't have agreed to rent an electric bike for us to ride (me as pillion) and feel the wind in our faces and get over my mild phobia of two-wheeled vehicles.

I was pretty boss in Taipei though lol I think I could be a tour guide there.

Currently I'm missing Taiwan more than I thought I would. Not sure if it's the nice night skies at the countryside, the food, the super nice people, the awesome pink guava juice atop Jiufen Old Street, the youthfulness and vibrancy of Ximending at night or just everything in general, but I just really miss it okay. Taiwan, I'll see you again sooner than you think. xx

Unwanted expectations

'Straight A student commits suicide over O-level results, mum takes her own life months later'

So I came across this article and it absolutely broke my heart. I mean, as Asians, there'll definitely be at least a few times in our lives where we are compared to our classmates, siblings, cousins, or even your neighbors. But how hard was this kid pushed to the extent that she felt so scared and ashamed to face her mum because of two B grades?

How sad is it to live your life not for yourself, but for someone else? How sad is it to live your life trying to fulfill someone else's expectations? How can a parent even bear to put her kid through this kind of unnecessary stress? How unhappy must her kid have been throughout the years?

It's okay to have expectations for something, but parents gotta understand that their kid is not for them to live vicariously through. My mum might not be agreeable to some of the choices I have made for myself, and she might have nagged a couple of times, but I'm happy with my choices, and she accepts that. In fact, I made all my educational and occupational choices from after PSLE. What kind of wise choices can a Primary 6 kid make, right? Well, this 12-year-old wanted to go to a secondary school because she wanted to join a specific CCA even though her results were eligible for more 'elite' secondary schools. My O-level results also allowed me to go to junior college, but I knew what I wanted, so I went to polytechnic. Was I happy? Not all the time, but mostly yes. Did I regret anything? No.

Parents care for their kids, and many often do things that they think 'are good for their kids', but the truth of the matter is that no one knows their kids better than their kids.

We don't have to be the best at everything. I'm thankful to my parents for respecting the choices I've made - so I can continue doing what I like, so I can continue listening to and singing to songs that I don't understand, so I continue occasionally exiling myself from the world while I do music, so I can continue to live and not just survive.

#심쿵해

AOA's 'Heart Attack' was recently released and I've been going crazy over them again. 'Short Hair' was my jam when it was released and now I'm back to replaying my angels' songs.

Anyway the girls took turns having a fantalk on Twitter last week and GOD MOTHERF*CKING TOP MADAM Jimin and kawaii Mina replied me (typo in my tweet to Mina whoops). Thank you senpais :)

For the life of me I didn't know what the heck Mina was saying till I realised that her tweet was full of spelling errors oh my god I'm not even sure if she was tryna be cute?? LOL but I still love you Minaring~~


I leave you with my favourite episode of their variety show. Please at least watch it for the subs. They are gold. Choa ♥ Jimin ♥ Mina ♥ #midgetsquad ♥

做好人

做好人，好难。
做好人，往往最辛苦的是自己。
但做坏人，可能会伤害别人、连累别人。

做好人，好难。
做好人，可以走在最前锋铺路。
但做好人，也可以在后面默默支持着、安抚着身边所爱的人。

做好人，好难。
做好人，需要时间放的下与放的开。
但做好人，最后心也是最平静的、笑容也是最欣慰的。

做好人，好难。
做好人，往往最辛苦的是自己。
但做好人，为了你，我愿意。

The Ark feels

That harmonization. Just gonna leave these here. If you don't cry watching the music video you have no heart.

Minju~~

Gratitude

Wow, I really haven't been here for a such a long time. This space is for things close to my heart, and this post won't be any different, albeit more sombre than usual.

Today, I got to be photographer for an event organised by my alma mater, TK Band - the Irene Joseph Memorial. She was the founder of TK Band.

This tribute video was done by my talented senior, Sijia. Obviously my emotional self cried when it was screened at the event. But a photographer's gotta do what a photographer's gotta do. So I hid my face behind my camera and scanned for faces in the audience to shoot anyway.

It's amazing how through the lenses, I was able to see a myriad of emotions that I may or may not have been able to capture properly, but the one thing that everyone had in common was gratitude.

It's not easy to say goodbye, and it is even more difficult when it is someone who has touched so many lives.

I never had the pleasure of being taught by her, but I have heard nothing but nice things about Miss Joseph. It is amazing to think about how this strong woman managed to form a band from students who didn't have any experience, to slowly progress and eventually win the Mace of Honor, to what TK Band is today. She devoted such a huge part of her life to nurturing students and making music, it's incredible.

Prior to typing this, I spent a night and a day with people who I would never have met if Miss Joseph never did what she did.

Without Miss Joseph, 

I wouldn't have met these amazing people.

I wouldn't have known how it's like for so many people to come together and work hard for one goal.

I wouldn't have been able to taste success.

I wouldn't have been able to grow stronger from defeat.

I wouldn't have had the honour to be a part of this legacy you left behind.

I wouldn't be who I am today.

Fate is indeed a funny thing. It's funny because you'd never think that a person who you have never talked to before could have such an impact on your life indirectly. 

Thank you, Miss Joseph, for being such an inspiration to so many of us, and I hope the music that you love follows you wherever you go.