Unwanted expectations

'Straight A student commits suicide over O-level results, mum takes her own life months later'

So I came across this article and it absolutely broke my heart. I mean, as Asians, there'll definitely be at least a few times in our lives where we are compared to our classmates, siblings, cousins, or even your neighbors. But how hard was this kid pushed to the extent that she felt so scared and ashamed to face her mum because of two B grades?

How sad is it to live your life not for yourself, but for someone else? How sad is it to live your life trying to fulfill someone else's expectations? How can a parent even bear to put her kid through this kind of unnecessary stress? How unhappy must her kid have been throughout the years?

It's okay to have expectations for something, but parents gotta understand that their kid is not for them to live vicariously through. My mum might not be agreeable to some of the choices I have made for myself, and she might have nagged a couple of times, but I'm happy with my choices, and she accepts that. In fact, I made all my educational and occupational choices from after PSLE. What kind of wise choices can a Primary 6 kid make, right? Well, this 12-year-old wanted to go to a secondary school because she wanted to join a specific CCA even though her results were eligible for more 'elite' secondary schools. My O-level results also allowed me to go to junior college, but I knew what I wanted, so I went to polytechnic. Was I happy? Not all the time, but mostly yes. Did I regret anything? No.

Parents care for their kids, and many often do things that they think 'are good for their kids', but the truth of the matter is that no one knows their kids better than their kids.

We don't have to be the best at everything. I'm thankful to my parents for respecting the choices I've made - so I can continue doing what I like, so I can continue listening to and singing to songs that I don't understand, so I continue occasionally exiling myself from the world while I do music, so I can continue to live and not just survive.