시간아

I suddenly had a realisation about how fast time has passed. Wasn't it just a while that we started our internship? And now in just five weeks it will all be over. Time's passing too fast for my liking.

Sometimes I really wonder what I am doing with my life. Sure, I'm enjoying myself but what's there for me in the future? 

But then again, life's meaningless. You come into this world, you live, you die. That's about it. Is it really worth it to slog our asses off? I'm not a person who ponders a lot about the future. As long as I am happy and living in the moment, I don't really care about anything else. But I have a whole life ahead of me, and I really do need lots of money to fund my extravagant music-cum-concert lifestyle LOL. I still wish that I can perform on stage one day. Why do I not know people in the industry?? 

And of course, the people in my future, if you know what I am talking about. I usually don't talk about these kind of things because I'm really shy about it (hahaha yes seriously I am). Of course I love the people around me right now but throughout one's whole lifetime they'll meet many people and those who were once by your side will leave you eventually. I'd definitely want the people around me to never leave but that's impossible. Ultimately, it's who have made your life meaningful and significant who are the most important, and unforgettable.

So right now I'm just embracing every moment I spend with my loved ones. Just like the photoshoot I had with Stef, Brenda (my MS B members), Jon (our manager oppa), Yiyun and Melodi (our stylists) yesterday at Punggol Promenade. That place is really quite inaccessible LOL but it's a nice place to chill no doubt! I guess I'll post some pics here when I get hold of them!

On another note, I can't wait to go back to school, but I'm dreading the report that we have to submit when school resumes. I can't believe we are only having a three week break! But then again there are so many people who I have not seen in ages and I can't wait for everyone to hang out together again! And yes, school food. I miss school food. Cheap and yummy. And no more one hour bus rides from Chai Chee to Hougang.

Right now I'm really happy though. SHINee in 12 days, 25 days to GD&TOP and Seungri at F1, DBS Black Top Party comin' up right after that, and slightly more than a week after that is freakin' All Time Low!! In addition, Man Utd scored a shitload of goals against Arsenal resulting in a scoreline of 8-2, Real Madrid started off a great season by beating Zaragoza 6-0, and I'm pwning every other football team in my FIFA 2011. What's more, it's a public holiday tomorrow. Basically I'm just enjoying myself to the max and I hope everyone is too!!

Enjoy your week everyone! :)

Psst, if Real Madrid continues playing like that, I'm going have to start betting on them soon. HAHA.

Fuck Yeah All Time Low

I am crazily excited for this okay. It'll be happening during the school holidays so I will definitely be at the venue early to get to the front. Now I do feel like getting an ATL tee, or a Jagk tee, eeek!

Gosh I'm even more excited about this than for SHINee!

I really need to hear them play this song omg. PLEASE ALEX JACK ZACK RIAN PLAY THIS! Okay I'm sure this song will be played though. I hope they play 'That Girl' too omg I absolutely love that song.

September and October are going to be a blast! Heck yeah!

Lonely

I have no idea what has been wrong with me this week. I guess all the screwed up things that have been happening has taken a toll on my mood. I've never felt like this in a long time and sometimes I feel like crying for no reason. I think I am really really tired. Tired of drama, tired of people, actually. I could go seek company in animals, but no I can't because I'm scared of them. I do try to cheer myself up by watching videos of my favourite artistes.

Yeah it does make me smile - for a while. After that I'm just back to being downcast again. I hate being sad. I hate to show my friends that I'm upset but sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm so tired of putting on a happy front even though I am all agonized inside. I guess it's true that seemingly happy people are actually the not the happiest. I try to stay positive but the negativity surrounding me engulfs me.

I have no idea what I am doing now, what I have been doing, and what I am gonna do with my life. I don't even know why I'm typing all these. I'm so messed up. Urgh.

I guess I'll try not to think so much and just look forward to SHINee World Concert (10th Sept) and GD&TOP, Seungri in F1 (23rd Sept). I hope I don't feel like that anymore.

To anyone who is reading this: if you ever see me like that when I'm with you, please don't hesitate to give me a hug 'aight? A hug makes everything better.

Somewhere With You

You know how planning for a holiday is supposed to be a happy and exciting affair and all? Yeah I felt that when my mum said we were going to Korea. Then I became less enthusiastic when she said Korea was too expensive so we were going to Shanghai instead. Seriously, we just went to China last year. And I just found out that the trip was gonna be 9 freaking days long and I immediately told her I couldn't go because I am really really scared that next sem's gonna be crazy and I'll have a shitload of stuff to do during the miserable 2 week holiday in December. And in all honesty I really don't want to go to places with four seasons during winter because there is nothing to buy! Most of the clothes that are sold at that time are all winter clothing and what I want to buy are graphic tees. Like those from Dicuny Korea.

Well I'd be lying if I said I am not in the least bit upset. My mood hasn't been all that good today. Sorry to those people I went out with today I don't know what got into me.

Yeah yeah I know I sound like a freakin' spoilt brat blah blah blah yes whatever fuck this shit k bye.

Don't Let Me Go

Just thought I'd get this off my chest.

If there's one thing I hate, it is losing friends. Let me just quote something from Wikipedia:

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

§ The tendency to desire what is best for the other

§ Sympathy and empathy

§ Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart

§ Mutual understanding and compassion

§ Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support

§ Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

§ Whereby you can be oneself & make mistakes without fear of judgement.

Although I admit that I've never been able to truly fulfill a couple of the above, I still do try my best in being a good friend. I may not be the best but I strive to be. And I try to treat all my friends really well. Whether I've succeed, I don't know. But what I know is that I am really happy with the people around me right now and I wouldn't want anything to change.

Friendship is just like being in a relationship - it is not gonna work out if it's a one-sided effort. Maybe I should stop investing so much effort in treating people nicely. Why do that when I am not gonna receive the same treatment?

Too many a time, I have seen friends fall out because of them being really tactless, and I guess, not exactly genuine towards the other. I've had that kind of feeling before but I chose not pursue the matter and to hold the friendship together. It's getting tiring though, and I'm sick of being the 'understanding' party.

The most important aspect in my life right now (and probably for a long time to come) are the people around me. And I don't want anything to change.

Only Learned Bad Things

This is a continuation post from one week ago.

More pictures from B1A4 arrival day:

MS B and manager 도신영!

LOL retard.

Sick jumpshot against the city skyline on the Helix Bridge = win!

Didn't go for the Meet and Greet the next day but the rest did. Brenda took a really nice pic of Baro~

On Tuesday Stef and I were trying to find them but no they didn't appear. Bummer. Finally saw them on Wednesday but I didn't manage to pass my gift and fan letter to Baro. Uh well, new cap for me! And we also ate at Sarang at Orchard Central and I really enjoyed the food there! Definitely would like to go there again ^^

11pm+ at the airport.

My idol pose hahaha. The cap here was Baro's gift.

My letter to him! The line in red was written by Stef.

Anyway, when they stopped by at T2 specially to bid their fans goodbye (so sweet) they all looked pretty upset but I guess most of it was caused by fatigue too. Of course the rowdiness of fangirls contributed (a lot of things happened when they were in USS). When will fans ever learn, I wonder.

Just listen to the fangirls bawling their lungs out, omg. It is quite disturbing to be honest.

That aside, I am happy to have been able to interact with two of the members in this rookie group whose members were lovable, sincere and polite. Fan-service kings, they really are. O.K. is totally on replay now and I never seem to get sick of it, and Only Learned Bad Things.

I do hope to see them again! And they are definitely five boys who I will never forget. Thank you B1A4 for everything. I'm glad their popularity is soaring. All the best, boys! :)

_______________________________________________________________

Spent my weekend with my favourite people at KBox on Saturday. Cee Lo Green's F*ck You is really a nice song to end the session with!

We were also on the topic of fanfics and sometimes it does get me wondering how do people actually think of stuff like that and write about their idols and not see them in a different light. I think I'd like to try writing a fanfic one day, but I will refrain from anything NC-17 or above. I reckon it'll turn out to be pretty bad compared to those I have read though.

Sunday was praying day but I got to play with my nieces omg they are so cute! I really love children!!

Argh screwed up hair

That's my favourite cousin from my mum's side :)

Baby niece's sister making a lot of noise on the drum. Potential percussionist!

Alright, about time to crash! Work tomorrow (again). 7 weeks left to the end of internship! Hang in there everyone!

Let's Fly!

Today was probably one of the most exciting Sundays I ever had. So basically the whole day went by with Brenda, Stef and I spazzing about B1A4! Along with Jon, and many many many BANAs (the fanclub name), we welcomed them at the airport. It was kinda chaotic, but we managed to see them! They were just looking at the fans on my side of the barricade so I felt a little sad for the fans on the other side of the barricade :/

So after seeing them we headed to Marina Bay Sands because we got wind that they were gonna be dining at a restaurant called Todai and after surveying the area we found a nice spot to chill at but at the same time easy to catch them. And so when they reached we were just walking beside them (with a couple of security guards in between but no matter). I tried to get Baro to sign my poster but the security blocked me. And he gave me an apologetic look. Haha he is really cute! ♥ And Brenda took a couple of really awesome pictures:

That is Gongchan and Baro looking in my direction btw!

After that when Brenda and Jon left, Stef and I managed to catch them again and this time Gongchan talked to us! He said a simple 'thank you' but when coupled with his eye smile it was $#*@#%!!! He was so nice. But okay it scares me a little to know that he is younger than I am.. :/

This shows that you do not need to book MaxiCabs to see your favourite artistes up close!

Anyway, point is, I had lots of fun, and I have found a new bias in B1A4, and Baro! Thank you so much Jon and Brenda, and most importantly, Stef, for no fangirl experience is complete without you! Hehehe.

Random pics I took:

Goodnight everyone! And to you too, Baro, you cute thing! *squishes*

May everyone have a great week ahead!

Just Like Her I Wanna Be Pretty

I got goosebumps during Dara's part. And I was so touched as well. :') Great job my girl!!