Where Dreams Go To Die

You have always dreamed of doing something, but you know that it will never happen - I hate this feeling.

As you may (or not) know, I have always wanted to form a band, to jam, perform, or just chill out together. Being in a band his not simply just something on my bucket list, it is something I've always dreamed of, something that I've always wanted to do with my friends.

Ever wondered why my favourite artistes are mostly bands? (Boys Like Girls, All Time Low, Faber Drive, S.H.E, F.T. Island, etc.) To me, being in a band means that you have people you can always count on and rely on, yet have fun together by doing something that we all are passionate for. Bands always seem like a family and they are always united and bonded and there's just this love for each other that you can feel whenever you see them perform or jam together. Truth be told, whenever I see my friends form bands, I feel happy for them, but I always think, 'why not me?' Yeah, I get jealous.

I love making music, that's what I do best. But doing it alone is just uninspiring, and just, not enough (nothing's ever enough). So what if I can sing, play the guitar, piano and other instruments? I can't do it all at once.

So what if people praise me for being able to sing? I have no one else to share my joy with.

So what if I were to make it big? I have no one to share my success with.

So what if I can make music by myself? I have no one to work hard with.

There was once where I actually formed a band but before it could take off, it just sort of failed, due to reasons that I won't state. It was quite a big blow to me. And because of this, I feel afraid to try to form a band by myself again. I can't take the blow after being all excited and hyped up for it.

Call me desperate, but if I was in a band even just for one month, that period will be the happiest time of my life, although the separation will be hard as well. Yup, that's how much I want to join one.

I want to write songs with my band, I want to play songs with my band, I want to have gigs with my band. Basically just like any other band.

I just want to live my dream. Just want to do what I do best. Just want to do what I love.

I know it will never materialize. I'll never know what it feels like to be part of a band. Till that day comes, my music will forever be soul-less.

Forever.